I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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