Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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