Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
