I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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