the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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