I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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