Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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