the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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