I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
