Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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