youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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