office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
