I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
