We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We need a shit load of segways right now
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
