Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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