i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
