i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
