You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize