We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
