are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
