sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
