I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
