The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
