Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
