A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
