Me too!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
