it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
