just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
