Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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