i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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