not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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