I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
