he wants to bone in the snuggie
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you would pick up someone in the library
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
