it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
