Christians are straight up FREAKS
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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