Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
