she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
