bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
