i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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