Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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