Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
