Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
