If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
