That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize