3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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