We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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