i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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