Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
