I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
