Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
