how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
