And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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