...so i touched it.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize