So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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