i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
