Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
