Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
3 2 1 whiskey
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
