so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize