I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize