His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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