I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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