I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
