I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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