You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
