roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
