I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
