I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
