I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
