i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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