The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
