It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
