If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize