In the future we'll all be gay
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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