I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
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