You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
