I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
