You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
