so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Sober January is a disaster.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
